How to program yourself for success

How to program yourself – either you do it or someone else will

Did you know that from the day that we are born, we are programmed? First by our parents, then by school, friends and other people that we look up to or listen to. We are usually programmed in different ways but to some extend a lot of it is the same.

The parents  

From the day we are born we get programmed, once we can hear or see or feel, we start to get programmed by our surroundings. We can see, feel or hear what/how our parents are doing, saying, reacting and so on. So when we are growing up, our brain is formed by everything that is happening around us, most of the time by our parents. So if you as a parent tell your kids that the way to be successful in life is to go to school, get good grades so that they can get a good job, then that is the reality they will live in. This is so true that my best friend told me how he “programmed” his son the other day. He told me that he had his son sit in front of him, after he told his son to be good in school so that he can get a good job and make a lot of money and don’t have to renovate his house on his own. His son didn’t understand anything because he is too young but the thing is that his brain registers this and if he gets programmed like this many times, it will be a fact.

On a Ted Talk speech given near my home town in Sweden by Staffan Ehde, he brings up this subject and says that research shows that a child gets about 148,000 negative lines from the day they are born until they turn 18 years old. Now this is no one’s fault really because this is how we’ve been programmed to do, this has been going on for many generations, and most of it is because parents want to protect their children. Parents don’t want their children to make mistakes, partly because they know it hurts but it´s also how they have been programmed. In school we get taught that it´s stupid to make mistakes and that there is usually only one correct answer.

Since the best way to learn is by doing, making your own mistakes and then learn from them, the school way is not a very good way for teaching.

Anyhow, this was not really the point of the article so let´s move on.

The people around us program us

Who do you believe you are?

Do you think that you are exactly like you are because you wanted to?

Sorry, but if you believe so, this time you are wrong.

We are always a mix of the people that we spend time with and look up to.

Have you ever started spending more time with a new person, then after a while you start to notice that you say or behave in different situations just like they usually do?

This also works with movies, TV shows and stuff like that. A while back I started watching comedy shows with Jim Jefferies. If you don’t know who he is, he´s an offensive comic from Australia that I find really funny, although he is really offensive from time to time in his shows. Anyway, I watched his shows on DVD a lot during a period. Now what do you think happened?

Yes, that is correct! I started being more offensive, joking, saying things like he did in the shows. Now he can say things like that on the stage because people know he is supposed to joke up there. When I did it with people I´d just met, the reactions were very different. So we have to be careful with what/whom we program ourselves.

We are copying each other, and everyone is a mix copy of the people they surround themselves with. All over the world there are different cultures and what is accepted as normal in the US or Holland might get you killed in other parts of the world.

So basically we can say that the second we are born, we are totally neutral, like a computer without any software. Then the process of installing software’s begins. Over the course of our life some software´s are uninstalled and some new ones are installed, this goes on all the time.

By the way, that is what commercials and advertising are all about. Programming us and remind us about the products and services offered so that when we are out shopping we will “automatically” choose that product.

So if this process of software change goes on all the time there must be something we can do to use it to our advantage, right?


There are ways that we can change the program for ourselves. Can you imagine what is possible if you can program yourself just like the most successful people you can think of and want to be like, and become a copy of them?

How to program yourself

You can do this in many ways and I have used this for years. I usually use “Affirmations” which is a kind of programming, but I have also carried a text in my wallet for a couple of years and I also had goals written down everywhere in my apartment, and my car. My friends must have thought I was crazy when they visited, haha.

This was me some years back, this was one of my programming stations:


Now you might think that this is bullshit that it won’t work, but it´s not. It all makes more sense to me now, after watching Staffans Ted Talk. The funny thing is that I have read and heard about this many times before and because it was said from a way more successful person then I am/was I just did it, not really thinking about it that much. I guess I wasn’t “there” yet to take in the full ground for this. I have even written posts on this blog, about this subject while not fully understanding it.

So what Staffan suggests is to write down things that we think we are bad at, then arrange them after how important they are to us. So we start with the most important one, and then write a script about you being good at that thing. Not that you want to be good at it, not that you will be good at it but that you ARE good at it already. Then read and record it on your mobile and listen to it every day in the morning and evening. I recommend that you see the full Ted Talk that I added here below to get a better explanation and understanding of it.

How to program yourself for success

Now to the really good stuff, adding an extra twist on this. If you want to become successful in some field, figure out what successful people in that field are doing so good and how. Because those skills are what will take you there and if you can program yourself to learning those skills, you will be successful. If you don’t know how to figure out what successful people are doing, maybe you should start with programming “I´m great at figuring things out”.

What do you think, shall we give it a go at programming ourselves for success ?

Comment “YES!” down below if you’re up for it.

And don’t forget to share this article with others, everyone need to know how to program themselves 🙂

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Thank you so much for the Ted Talk Staffan!

Here it is:

How to program yourself for success 🙂

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